FIFTEEN THINGS THAT IT TOOK ME OVER 50 YEARS TO LEARN
by Dave Barry
1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on
the same night.
2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has
not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be
"meetings."
3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."
4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want
you to share yours with them.
5. You should not confuse your career with your life.
6. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
7. Never lick a steak knife.
8. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.
9. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling
reason why we observe daylight savings time.
10. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests
that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging
from her at that moment.
11. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a
big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.
12. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender,
religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside,
we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.
13. A person, who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice
person. (This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.)
14. Your friends love you anyway.
15. Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built
the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.
Keep smiling
Tug
FIFTEEN THINGS THAT IT TOOK ME OVER 50 YEARS TO LEARN
- WB_FlashOver
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Re: FIFTEEN THINGS THAT IT TOOK ME OVER 50 YEARS TO LEARN
These are awesome. Some may seem silly or just funny but 55 years has taught me much the same.
One of my favorite quotes sounds like a Chinese proverb or such but it is;
"Treat EVERYONE with respect
Whether they deserve it or not
Not as a reflection of their character
But as a reflection of yours"
EDIT: I didn't get all the quote the first post
One of my favorite quotes sounds like a Chinese proverb or such but it is;
"Treat EVERYONE with respect
Whether they deserve it or not
Not as a reflection of their character
But as a reflection of yours"
EDIT: I didn't get all the quote the first post
Last edited by WB_FlashOver on 09 Aug 2018, 10:25, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: FIFTEEN THINGS THAT IT TOOK ME OVER 50 YEARS TO LEARN
Love it! Must stick this one somewhere in my office, accepting some characters may find it allusive.
-EsaTug002 wrote:2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has
not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be
"meetings."
Re: FIFTEEN THINGS THAT IT TOOK ME OVER 50 YEARS TO LEARN
Thaught the same.AKar wrote:Love it! Must stick this one somewhere in my office, accepting some characters may find it allusive.-EsaTug002 wrote:2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has
not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be
"meetings."
"Give me a ping, Vasili. One ping only, please."
Re: FIFTEEN THINGS THAT IT TOOK ME OVER 50 YEARS TO LEARN
Exactly! This is a good quote, thanks.WB_FlashOver wrote:These are awesome. Some may seem silly or just funny but 55 years has taught me much the same.
One of my favorite quotes sounds like a Chinese proverb or such but it is;
"Treat EVERYONE with respect
Whether they deserve it or not
Not as a reflection of their character
But as a reflection of yours"
EDIT: I didn't get all the quote the first post
Regards,
Dave
Ron Attwood wrote:David, you'd be useless on Twitter. Too reasonable by half.
Re: FIFTEEN THINGS THAT IT TOOK ME OVER 50 YEARS TO LEARN
I like to live dangerously. I still do #7 without incident.
Re: FIFTEEN THINGS THAT IT TOOK ME OVER 50 YEARS TO LEARN
A good friend (now deceased - no causal relation) once called me from a trip in Mexico to say, 'Do you remember when your parents told you not to lick your knife? I just found out why!' he cut his tongue rather badly and, when he flinched, his lip as well. I lick with caution now!patful wrote:I like to live dangerously. I still do #7 without incident.
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- Ron Attwood
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Re: FIFTEEN THINGS THAT IT TOOK ME OVER 50 YEARS TO LEARN
#16 Wives insist you either 'Always' do something or you 'Never' do something.
Eva Vlaardingerbroek, an inspiratiom.
Re: FIFTEEN THINGS THAT IT TOOK ME OVER 50 YEARS TO LEARN
Thank you for that one! This is exactly what I am currently doing in a very difficult situation and it encuraged me to keep on doing it even though its very hard...WB_FlashOver wrote:These are awesome. Some may seem silly or just funny but 55 years has taught me much the same.
One of my favorite quotes sounds like a Chinese proverb or such but it is;
"Treat EVERYONE with respect
Whether they deserve it or not
Not as a reflection of their character
But as a reflection of yours"
Cherockee 180 / Comanche 250 / Constellation L049
Re: FIFTEEN THINGS THAT IT TOOK ME OVER 50 YEARS TO LEARN
Hahahaaa, there is truth right thereRon Attwood wrote:#16 Wives insist you either 'Always' do something or you 'Never' do something.
Ron Attwood wrote:David, you'd be useless on Twitter. Too reasonable by half.
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