Lost in translation

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speedy70
Senior Master Sergeant
Posts: 1876
Joined: 28 Aug 2008, 18:01
Location: Devon,UK

Lost in translation

Post by speedy70 »

Lewis if you think this innappropriate please delete it.I just thought it hysterical.

A friend went to Beijing recently and was given this brochure by the hotel. It is precious.
She is keeping it and reading it whenever she feels depressed.
Obviously, it has been translated directly, word for word from Mandarin to English.

Getting There:
Our representative will make you wait at the airport. The bus to the hotel runs along the lake shore. Soon you will feel pleasure in passing water. You will know that you are getting near the hotel, because you will go round the bend. The manager will await you in the entrance hall. He always tries to have intercourse with all new guests.

The Hotel:
This is a family hotel, so children are very welcome. We of course are always pleased to accept adultery. Highly skilled nurses are available in the evenings to put down your children. Guests are invited to conjugate in the bar and expose themselves to others. But please note that ladies are not allowed to have babies in the bar. We organize social games, so no guest is ever left alone to play with them self.

The Restaurant:
Our menus have been carefully chosen to be ordinary and unexciting. At dinner, our quartet will circulate from table to table, and fiddle with you.

Your Room:
Every room has excellent facilities for your private parts. In winter, every room is on heat. Each room has a balcony offering views of outstanding obscenity! .. You will not be disturbed by traffic noise, since the road between the hotel and the lake is used only by pederasts.

Bed:
Your bed has been made in accordance with local tradition. If you have any other ideas please ring for the chambermaid. Please take advantage of her. She will be very pleased to squash your shirts, blouses and underwear. If asked, she will also squeeze your trousers.

Above All:
When you leave us at the end of your holiday, you will have no hope. You will struggle to forget it.

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Ron Attwood
Chief Master Sergeant
Posts: 3222
Joined: 30 Nov 2010, 10:07
Location: Chelmsford, Essex, UK

Re: Lost in translation

Post by Ron Attwood »

Lewis! Do your duty. Delete this foul slur. This is disgraceful.

Reasons for it's disgracefulness will follow when I've thought some up.
"It’s easier to fool people than to convince them that they have been fooled"

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Al FR-153
Technical Sergeant
Posts: 921
Joined: 08 Feb 2011, 06:39
Location: Between KARR, 82IS, 3CK in Northern Illinois

Re: Lost in translation

Post by Al FR-153 »

Ditto on what Ron said. I'm still stuck on passing water. :D
Al Heline

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Hook
Master Sergeant
Posts: 1358
Joined: 31 Dec 2012, 01:38
Location: Bonham, Texas

Re: Lost in translation

Post by Hook »

"But please note that ladies are not allowed to have babies in the bar."

it is, however, considered acceptable for gentlemen to have babies in the bar, if they can manage it.

Hook

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Skycat
Senior Master Sergeant
Posts: 2191
Joined: 11 Nov 2006, 16:15
Location: Great Falls Army Air Base, Montana

Re: Lost in translation

Post by Skycat »

Pax Orbis Per Arma Aeria

Tomas Linnet
Senior Master Sergeant
Posts: 2285
Joined: 05 Nov 2013, 10:48
Location: Oksboel, Denmark

Re: Lost in translation

Post by Tomas Linnet »

I’ve been to China a few times. This seems to be authentic :D
Kind Regards
Tomas

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Lewis - A2A
A2A Lieutenant Colonel
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Re: Lost in translation

Post by Lewis - A2A »

Fake or not, its a joke and a bloody good one lol. :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen:
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