Why We Love Children

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Tug002
Senior Master Sergeant
Posts: 2448
Joined: 25 Oct 2013, 11:40
Location: Ontario, Canada. CYSH

Why We Love Children

Post by Tug002 »

Why We Love Children



1. A nursery school pupil told his teacher he'd found a cat, but it

was dead.

'How do you know that the cat was dead?' she asked her pupil.

'Because I pissed in its ear and it didn't move,' answered the child

innocently.

'You did WHAT?' the teacher exclaimed in surprise.

'You know,' explained the boy, 'I leaned over and went 'Pssst' and it

didn't move'



2. A small boy is sent to bed by his father.

Five minutes later....'Da-ad....'

'What?'

'I'm thirsty. Can you bring a drink of water?'

'No, You had your chance. Lights out.'

Five minutes later: 'Da-aaaad.....'

'WHAT?'

'I'm THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water??'

' I told you NO! If you ask again, I'll have to smack you!!'

Five minutes later.......'Daaaa-aaaad.....'

'WHAT!'

'When you come in to smack me, can you bring a drink of water?'



3. An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief, finally asked him 'How do you expect to get into Heaven?'

The boy thought it over and said, 'Well, I'll run in and out and in

and out and keep slamming the door until St. Peter says, 'For Heaven's

sake, Dylan, come in or stay out!''



4. One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was

tucking her son into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he

asked with a tremor in his voice, 'Mummy, will you sleep with me

tonight?'

The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug.

'I can't dear,' she said. 'I have to sleep in Daddy's room.'

A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice:

'The big sissy.'



5. It was that time, during the Sunday morning service, for the

children's sermon.

All the children were invited to come forward.

One little girl was wearing a particularly pretty dress and, as she sat

down, the minister leaned over and said, 'That is a very pretty dress.

Is it your Easter Dress?'

The little girl replied, directly into the minister's clip-on

microphone, 'Yes, and my Mum says it's a bitch to iron.'



6. When I was six months pregnant with my third child, my three year

old came into the room when I was just getting ready to get into the

shower.

She said, 'Mummy, you are getting fat!'

I replied, 'Yes, honey, remember Mummy has a baby growing in her

tummy.'

'I know,' she replied, but what's growing in your bum?'

Keep smiling
Tug :)

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Ron Attwood
Chief Master Sergeant
Posts: 3222
Joined: 30 Nov 2010, 10:07
Location: Chelmsford, Essex, UK

Re: Why We Love Children

Post by Ron Attwood »

Kids, don't you just love 'em? :D
"It’s easier to fool people than to convince them that they have been fooled"

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