An invisible man married an invisible woman.
Their kids were nothing to look at either.
I didn’t think the chiropractor could improve my posture… but I stand corrected.
I took my new girlfriend to the ice rink on our first date. It was half-price night.
She called me a cheap-skate.
Studies show cows produce more milk when the farmer talks to them.
It’s a case of in one ear and out the udder.
My wife claims I’m the cheapest person she’s ever met.
I’m not buying it.
Did you know that a raven has 17 rigid feathers called pinions, while a crow only has 16.
So the difference between a raven and a crow is just a matter of a pinion.
My cross-eyed wife and I just got a divorce.
I found out she was seeing someone on the side.
I told my contractor I didn’t want carpeted steps.
He gave me a blank stair.
What did the surgeon say to the patient who insisted on closing up his own incision?
Suture self.
Pun Intended
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