Truth is definitely stranger than fiction. Fiction has to make sense.
Intelligence is knowing Doctor Frankenstein is not the monster.
Wisdom is knowing Doctor Frankenstein IS the monster.
Black holes are giant celestial bodies where all of our known laws of the universe go to die.
What's leather and sounds like a sneeze? A shoe.
Is "sesquipedalian" an onomatopoeia?
We had a power outage yesterday and my PC, TV and of course my FlightSim was shut down immediately; it was raining - I couldn't take the dog for a walk or go play some golf, so I talked to my wife for a few hours.
She seems like a nice person.
We’ve all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true.
- Robert Wilensky, circa 1996
Pavlov walks into a bar. The phone rings, and he says, "Damn, I forgot to feed the dog."
Guy 1: Somebody said you sounded like an owl.
Guy 2: Who?
It's hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally.
Experience is a hard teacher. First comes the test, then the lesson.
If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably well worth it.
A British man is visiting Australia. The man at customs asks him "Do you have a criminal record?" The British man replies "I didn't think you'd need one to get into Australia any more."
"As a kid I was made to walk the plank. We couldn’t afford a dog."
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Some of these have appeared here before. Some are original. Hope you enjoyed them.
Hook
Stuff from my archives
Re: Stuff from my archives
Thanks for the early-morning chuckle!
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